[ {"text":"The Adventures of Argyle is a story written by multifarious and untowarren, originally in the medium of minecraft books, taking it in turns to write a a few words/sentences each."}, {"text":"Argyle was a fucked-up individual. They were the kind of person who ate all of the fish when they went to the aquarium. They were the kind of scoundrel who would remove all of your teeth whislt you werent looking and put them back in the wrong order. They were the sort of miscreant who had a really huge big brain but didnt solve any of their maths homework becuase they were too buisy doing evil and dastardly crimes.

Among us 3am challenge;
One fateful evening Argyle was galavanting arround the internet and happened upon a small tiny little web site called the guardian dot com where they happened upon an article called Amongus Sus Impostor 24 hour Challenge Gone Wrong: Mr Beast Makes Among Us 1000% More Sus *real* *NOT CLICKBAIT* you wont believe what hapens next Among Us Among Us Among Us Am

This Gave Argyle the spectacularly devious idea to invent capitalism so that someone would make The Bee Movie, and also '$456,000 Squid Game In Real Life!' by Mr Beast. They also wondered if they could invent communism but unfortunately Disco Elysium had already done that. The Among Us chicken nugget is a Chicken McNugget obtained from the 2021 BTS Meal by McDonald's. It was listed for online auction on eBay in May 2021 for its resemblance to the crewmate characters from the 2018 game Among Us. "}, {"text":" Chapter 2; Argyle Goes To France

Argyle awoke the morning of their flight, feeling slightly more nefarious than usual. they had packed their suitcase full of spiders, which contained a lot of evil and malice and crime, but had neglected to pack any crayons or other snacks. This was becuse Argyle had a plan: steal every snack from the airport.

However, in order to pull off this utterly insideious heist, they needed to firtst find the perfect crime outfit. Unfortunately, Argyle had not packed any clothes except for the spiders, but this wasn't going to deter them. They concluded that the perfect crime outfit could be stolen along with the snacks and decided to just add a few spiders to their current outfit.

The first step in any truly good heist is to research how to perform the perfect heist on wikihow dot com. The article advised that you should always stay hydrated while attempting a heist as dehydrated people are more likely to get got for crimes.

the second helpful top tip given by wikihow was to make sure no one was watching; if people see you do a crime, they will most likely say \"among us among us among us among us\" and \"that guys pretty sus\" and other catchphrases associated with popular video game \"Amogus\"(2018). This will mean that people will call an emergency meeting and vote you out, sending you to superhell forever.

wikihows third and final instruction was to have fun ! No heist is complete without a little hooliganism and shenanigans so dont stress too hard and remember to enjoy yourself <3 "}, {"text":" Chapter 3: Argyle Gets Got (title open to change if they dont get got)

After getting a lift to the airport from one of their numerous spider friends, Argyle dug a tunnel to WHSmiths so as to avoid detection. While digging the tunnel, they came across a really tiny village full of worm people and their tiny worm contraptions. They asked the worm people for directions to WHSmith but they were too buisy making EASY 6x6 Piston Door In Minecraft Bedrock 1.17!!! (PS4, PS5, Xbox, Windows 10, MCPE, Switch) so Argyle continued to use google maps instead.

When Argyle finally reached WHSmiths, they quickly sprinted towards the part bwith all the chocolate bars and Nature Valley Crunchy Oats and Cereal Bars and started scooping them into their suitcase before anyone could start chanting among us and/or alert mrbeast. Remembering wikihows advice, they took a sip of water and then quickly vanished back to the hole they dag so that nobody could see them.

Next, they decided to dig to WHSmiths 2; the clothing store so that they could steal the perfect heist houfit. Luckily WHSmith 2 was right next to WHSMith because the shops were ordered alphabetically. unfortunaley, they had much higher security. This meant there were many crewmates positioned strategically to catch argyle venting and call an emergency meeting. Therefore, argyle decided to be extre careful and drink a potion of invisibility before looking arround for a heist outfit there were 3 options:

the first outfit that Argyle had found consisted of a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. The second outfit was made entirely from bees and the third outfit was a really super evil and had loads of spikes and knives and guns. Argyle decided to take the. Argyle couldnt decide between the first and second outfit so they decided to flip a coin.

unfortunately, the worm people had taken all of their coins because the worm people eat money and they were very hungry. Instead of flipping a coin, they decided to flip the nearest minecraft youtuber. luckily for argyle, there were in fact several of those at the airport. the closest one to argyle was Charlie Slimecicle, who was currently browsing tumblr dot com. Argyle then flipped him like people flip tables in movies when they're angry but he turned into goo and spread out all over the floor so argyle couldnt tell which way up he landed. everyone said \"wow, what a goopy gunky guy. #goo #gunk #sludge\". and then they fell over like he was a banana peel and everyone else was mario mario kart. Whilst all the people were distracted, Argyle quickly stole a coin to flip.

Argyle launched the coin into the air like a space ship. the coin rose to higher and higher altitudes, all the while rotating like how one might rotate a fictional character in ones mind, but like, way faster. Evantually, the coin flipped a few times while seeming to hover high in the air before plummeting to earth with the force of approximately 12 iguanas. It landed with a loud HEADS! it was only then that argyle realised: they had not decided which outfit was heads or tails. luckily, the impact of the coin landing had completely obliterated the last two options, leaving them with the epic goth outfit that was inspired by argyles favourite novel \"my immortal\". Argyle span around like a sim from the sims 12 to change their outfit.

They admired their new appearence for a moment before realising that their plane was about to leave in 4 minutes and 13 seconds. Argyle began to sprint rapidly towards the departure gate and even used their super rare ultra turbo the snail from TURBO Clip - \"Your Driver Is A Snail\" (2013) Ryan Reynolds to give them a Speed Boost TM. Luckily, Ryan Reynolds is'nt real (this is a common misconception,) so neither of his two older brothers who work in law enforcement in british colombia could catch Argyle as they sped off to catch the aeroplane.

Finally, just in the nick of time, with only zero point twelve seconds to spare, Argyle zoomed through the gate and hurtled over the passengers straight into seat number 17c (this was not the seat that Argyle had booked and there was, in fact, someone already sitting there, but argyle used their mega-strength to compress them into a small cube before storing them for later.) Just then, the pilots voice announced that due to unforeseen circumstances, France was Fine and Normal. This was a shame because Argyle was actually hoping to participate in some chaos. However, they resolved that would simly create the chaos instead. "}, {"text":" Chapter 4; Argyle in Francce

The Plane landed in France at 5:14pm. Argyle, however did not know this because they had forgotten to change their tool of time measirement to be in The France Zone™. Argyle decided that they would try to find a suitable réstauránt or café to purchase some lunch from. You cant be at maximum chaos when youre hungry, so argey set off to find some french food such as a báguétté or frénch friés or yógóurt.

Unfortunately, the only shops arround the airport sold France™ merch and there was nowhere to obtain any food. Luckily, Argyle had A Plan: eat all the paintings in the Louvre. What Argyle didn't know was that another silly little guy had the exact same idea... "}, {"text":" CHAPTER FIVE - ANTOINETTE

Antoinette was a dangerous creature. They were the kind of person who would give you a cake but it would have teethe in. Antoinette was the kind of thaumaturge who would cast an illusion of a door so that when you walked through it everyone would think you were a ghost. They were the sort of earthling who had large claws but disproportionately small fingers so they often had to pick up objects and items with their mouth.

Antionette had A Plan; to eat all of the paintings in the Louvre. they were inspired to do this when they witnessed a member of the gallery's staff accidentally step on a bug at age 5 and a half. Antoinette had been plotting their revenge ever since.

The plan would commence on a Thursday. Antoinetehad always hated Thursdsys so their levels of rage would be highest at that point in the week, meaning that they would have a bigger appetite. For now, they prepared by shapening their claws and their teeth and their hair. "}, {"text":" chapter six argyle is in the the louvre


the louvre was closed after 9:45 p m so Argyle though it best to be quiet so as not to wake the sleeping paintings and/or staff. They tiptoed past The Winged Victory of Samothrace who waws actually not asleep,just decapitated and thus unable to hear or see Argyle. 'The Caryatids' were chilling. Evenetually, argargoyle came across a magnificent painting, positioned high above them on the ceiling. this was -4920851423102197841 which was kind of odd becasuse thats where i live. Argyle moved fowards but then they realised that the painting was above them and not forwrds so they moved towarsd the up direction for that.

Argyle was not able to move in that direction because they did not have wings but luckily they did have a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. Inside the pocket of the black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots was a spider. now you may think that a spider can neither fly nor lift the weight of an entire humanoid, but you would be wrong, actually because spider silk is like super strong and it gave some to argyle so that they could weave the spider silk into another spider that was bigger than the previous one and use their telekenisis to make it lift them up. unfortunately agryle is not very skilled at telekinesis so this endevour took aproximately 15 minutes and by the time they were able to chew at the edges of the painting, they noticed somebody/something else that was also chewing at the edges of the painting....................

the creature clung to the ceilling with its large talons, its eyes and also its slightly larger than average teeth. In shock, argyle lost control of the telekensisis and tubmled to the ground, landing on the giant silk spider. The creature swiftly gormandized the rest of the painting before scuttling down the wall and out of the room. Argyle decided to run after it becasue they werent letting anyone get away with eating argyles lunch.

The Creature bounced, jubilantly through the coridor and turned a corner into a room full of security guards and lasers. the security guards were actually statues though so theydid not shoot their lazers. The crature then scuttled into the next room which had a giant, glass onion from the movie \"the giant glass onion\" and also the song by beetles. The creature could not see glass so theyran straignt into the onion and were immediately absorbed into it. once argyle managed to catch up with The Creature was floating in the layers of the onion and was trapped. It screeched and made several facial expressions. There was only one option: The only way for Argyle to get their lunch back was to interrogate the sus pect on their knowledge of time travel so that they could kill it before it even entered the museum. "}, {"text":" CHAPTER SEVEN

8:55 pm Antoinette strolllled into the museum and nobody glanced an eye at them. They looked arround before quickly rounding a corner into a neerby bathroom to consult their map on the ventilation systems. The map said \" 's all evil man\". and antoinette grinned an evil grin lined with sharp teeth. They replied \" 's all evil man\" and then the map grinned an evil grin back before pointing to its teeth, which were normal-looking. Antoinette immideately understood and ate the map to absorb its knowledge. Antionette gained 700 more knowledge and also mayby like 3% more malice and nefariouseness (making theirtotal knowledgne 1800, and their total malace and nrefeariusnes 112%)

They then heard a museum visitor coming and so dived into a nearby vent. antoinette slinked their way throught the vent for approximaley thirty minutes for fun and then fifteen more minutes in order to get to their desired location of the painting \"-4920851423102197841\". this was the largest painting in the entire museum and covered the whole ceiling, meaning it woul

d also be the largest meal. antionette used their incredibly huge massive claws and eyes and teeth to ape up the wall towards the painting. precariouiousley they began to nibble at the corner to assess the pungency and seasoning of this prey. It tasted exquisite; they began to take another munch when their large ears picked up on a rustling coming from the opposite corner of the pinting. Antoinette looked up from theor meal, but only with their eyes so they didnt have to stop eating, and saw another silly little guy that appeared to have had the exact same idea... "}, {"text":" Chapter 8; Ally or Adversery

agryle stared supernatantly into the vast and multifarious layers of the onion. The onion showd them a multitude of thiungs such as \"its me boy im the ps5 // talking to you inside your brain // listen to me boy // leave the girl we dont need her // come with me and play my games // we'll have cowboy times in space // do do do do yeah // you need me boy your free will is an illusion\" and image of crab

also inside the onion antionette was also there. Arglye began to formulate a question in their mind using all of their power; what will mr gru from dispicable me become if you put him in the giant glass onion. but more importantly: WHAT WILL MR GRU FROM DESPICABLE ME BECOME IF YOU PUT HIM IN THE GIANT GLASS ONION??? ANTOINETTE WRITHED IN INTELLECTUAL CURIOSITY, having used their telekenisis to interpret the question. They answered \"he will become the most humble of the most of all the guyes but also he will be minouns-less\" Argyle was communicable and began to hover toweards the onion, aprehensively. suddenly the onion begam to oscialte (oscillate). Antionette began to bounce arround the inside of the onion and their limbs began to streatch like they were glitching in a video game like when a character is caught in a wall. then all of a sudden the bat man swooped into the room and crashed into the giant glass onion and released the antionette from their glass vegetalbe themed prison which was also a metaphor about reading too deeply into something seemingly complex whic

h is actually transparent and plAINLY visible. Antoinette tumbled forwards towards the argyle and then used their built-in parachute to gently float down and land delacately on argyles nose. but then argyle sneezed and antoinette had to back flip onto the ground.

Bat Man. "}, {"text":" CHAPTER NUMBER NINE

Bat Man. He has always been a man but argyle was the first creature he'd encounteered which was not a man. prevousley he only hung out with creatures that were men but he had never actually talked to anyone who was not alfred or the joker or lego the joker from lego batman or robin. Now was a time for femeinsnm and for hanging out with creatures that are not men: step one; introductions! Bat Man opened his mouth to say one if his iconic \"bat-man catch-phrases\" but was interupted by the two creatures growling cordially at each other. \"growl growl growl (cordially)\" growled Antionette cordially. \"gahvdjhsvdjhsvdjhflsaaaaaarrrrrrrgggg\" growled argyle, cordially. Batman attempted to return the gesture but unfortunately he was really shit at growling cordially and the creatures seemed to interpret his growling as hostile and turned to him menacingly. the bat man supposed that he would have to skip to step two of his plan; group activity! He prepared for a friendly duel by drawing a little image of a bat upin one of the swords he had acqired within the louvre. howevEe whilst he was doung that the two creatures pounced really really really high up so that they had more momentum whilst they were descending upon the bat man. and then they both killed him dead. :( "}, {"text":" Chapter 10; oh no, not again

A cow magnet is a veterinary medical device for the treatment or prevention of hardware disease in cattle.[1] A rancher or dairy farmer feeds a magnet to each calf at branding; the magnet settles in the fourth stomach, which is also the fourth circle of hell and symbolises greed. That is where bat man is right now. he had to formulate a plan, a different one than the other plan he had previously been using because he was in an enritely different situation than before...

Meanwhile, in the louvre, Antionette and Argyle had reached the dastardly conclusion that they had just killed a man. Woopsie!! luckily argyle knew just what to do in times like this: they pulled up a wikihow article on the various ways of disposing of a body.

Method 1; Choose a tank that is at least ten gallons. Guppies like to form schools and shouldn’t be kept alone or in a small fishbowl. The rule of thumb is to provide a gallon of water per inch of fish.

Methid 2;Person 1: “Yeah dude she totally rizzed up the skibidi toilet until it became a gyatt sigma male. Cringe much?”

Person 2 : “Dude, Accept yourself. The first step to succeeding in anything is to know and accept your strengths and limitations. Show compassion for yourself. Accept not only the good but the bad too. Always strive to improve the things you don’t like or that you struggle with.\"

Person 1 \"bro, Read the instructions that came with your multimeter before you use it. Even if you’ve used a multimeter before, the instructions of different models can vary and it’s important to read them to keep yourself safe.\"

and then they kissed and got married etc the end.

Argyle thought about this very thoruoughly before deciding that cannibalism would be the quickest way to dispose of the evidence and started to chew. not only was this a quick and easy solution tm, it was also a much-needed snack, as argyle had only had a morsel of the artworks. Antionette had also had basically like maybe 2 or 3 moresels at most before being interrupted so they decided to join in the munchin.

Back in hell; Bat Man! Yeah! Bat! Woo! nenenenenenenene BAT MAAAN !!!!!!!
Bat man was having ahorrible time. all 12 of his plans had been unsuccsessful. he only had one option left......... him.

The joker was chilling in his in the 8th circle of hell (fraud) when he heard the ring of his silly telephone shaped like a slightly smaller telephone. he began to cackle to himself in a silly manner, before reaching out and picking up the telepfone and then answering the telephone and saying \"well hello tehre batman.\" in an evil voice.

\"hey man im kindof stuck inside of the 4th circle of hell in the 4th stomach of the cow right now\"

The joker grinned menacingly and said \"ok i will come and help you i guess becasue you are my favourute nemesis in kind of a caliginous* way,\" and then he hung up. Batman reminisced on all their good times togeather such as when The Riddler captureed them both and asked them \"A man who was outside in the rain without an umbrella or hat didn’t get a single hair on his head wet. Why?\"

*https://www.homestuck.com/story/2393 "} ]